Am I a bad wife and mom?

My husband and i have been fighting a lot lately. He's in the military and has moved me out of my home state and away from my family. I have no friends here, and I stay at home to raise our daughter b/c we both agreed that daycare is not for us. I stay at home in our tiny apartment all day, literally, i go nowhere. We are struggling financially, but it is ok for him to go out to eat with his army buds and to buy 90 bux worth of protein powder. But, I don't say anything b/c it is his money, after all. But when we don't have enough to buy groceries, suddenly it's my fault. When I try to defend myself, reminding him that there is no gas in my car or that it is too cold to take the baby out, he says things to make me feel like i'm lying, or he twists things around to look like i'm picking on him. I am on medication for depression, but i'm not crazy. He always tries to turn things i say around so it looks like i'm being a b*tch or trying to start a fight. I don't know what to do anymore. He makes me feel like a lazy bad mom b/c sometimes i don't get the dishes done b/c i am taking care of our daughter, or sometimes i'll let her cry for a few minutes so i can brush my teeth or finish a chore. No, my house is not spotless, but it is hard to make it look tidy and neat b/c it is so small and we have too much stuff. ( Not to mention, his guitar setup takes up a quarter of the living room.) I just feel like such a piece of crap, and i feel like i am a bad wife and mother. i'm starting to hate myself, but that makes me feel selfish. i just don't know why he acts this way towards me...